Conflict Doesn’t Kill Love — But Emotional Avoidance Can
- Farshid Rashidifar
- Apr 21
- 2 min read
Updated: Apr 25
By Farshid Rashidifar (MSW. RSW. Psychotherapist)
April 21, 2025
Conflict in relationships doesn’t just trigger emotions — it tests what couples do with them.
In therapy, I’ve seen again and again that emotional safety doesn’t come from avoiding conflict. It comes from how we respond to each other when things get tense, confusing, or misaligned.
The emotional atmosphere during conflict sets the stage for everything that comes after — especially physical intimacy.
When one partner shuts down, deflects, or reacts with hostility, the other often retreats too. Not just emotionally, but sexually. The desire to connect disappears when emotional friction hasn’t been soothed.
But when partners stay present — not just physically, but emotionally — the outcome shifts.
Small behaviors like listening without interruption, validating emotion, or staying calm and available during an argument can do more than resolve the issue. They can restore connection. And in many cases, they open the door back to intimacy — not as a reward, but as a reflection of safety.
It’s rarely about the argument itself.It’s about whether we feel seen in the middle of it.
I’ve worked with couples who thought their issue was sexual compatibility, when the deeper issue was emotional recovery. If one person feels dismissed or criticized during conflict, even the smallest physical gesture can begin to feel loaded — like a demand, not a desire.
That’s why the work isn’t just about communication.It’s about how we regulate together.It’s about how we repair.
Because when conflict leads to emotional rupture that’s never tended to, desire fades. But when it becomes a space for responsiveness, empathy, and grounding, the connection doesn’t just survive. It deepens.
If this reflection speaks to you and you’re considering a deeper exploration of your own relational patterns, you’re welcome to request a private consultation.
Farshid works with a small number of clients at a time. All inquiries are reviewed personally to ensure the focus and fit of the work are aligned.
Research Note:
This reflection is grounded in clinical practice and informed by psychological research. While specific studies, data, and models are not disclosed, the themes are drawn from contemporary academic literature and reinterpreted through a therapeutic lens.
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