Love Isn’t Always Easy
- Farshid Rashidifar
- Apr 19
- 2 min read
Updated: Apr 21
By Farshid Rashidifar (MSW. RSW. Psychotherapist)
April 19, 2025
Some people enter relationships with a quiet confidence that things can grow, stretch, and adapt over time. Others approach love with the belief that if it’s right, it should just work — no friction, no major repair, no hard questions.
Both beliefs shape how people love. But more importantly, they shape how people suffer.
In therapy, I sometimes see that it’s not just what happens in the relationship that determines satisfaction — it’s the story someone believes about what’s supposed to happen.2
When someone holds a belief that “real love shouldn’t be hard,” even small conflicts feel threatening. If they believe that “a good relationship means always feeling happy,” they may start to panic when they hit a rough patch.
But if someone believes that love is a process, not a prize — that intimacy involves effort, discomfort, and repair — then they’re more likely to stay engaged, even when the emotions get complicated.
This isn’t about being “right” or “wrong.” It’s about recognizing that our relational beliefs act as emotional filters. They determine what we notice, how we interpret it, and what we decide to do next.
Therapy becomes the space to hold those beliefs up to the light.– Where did they come from?– Are they serving you?– Are they shaping your expectations in ways that leave you anxious, disconnected, or disappointed?
Because sometimes, the pain in a relationship doesn’t come from what’s happening. It comes from what you expected would happen — and didn’t.
If this reflection speaks to you and you’re considering a deeper exploration of your own relational patterns, you’re welcome to request a private consultation.
Farshid works with a small number of clients at a time. All inquiries are reviewed personally to ensure the focus and fit of the work are aligned.
Research Note:
This reflection is grounded in clinical practice and informed by psychological research. While specific studies, data, and models are not disclosed, the themes are drawn from contemporary academic literature and reinterpreted through a therapeutic lens.
Comments