Love at First Sight: An Emotional Illusion
- Farshid Rashidifar
- Apr 16
- 2 min read
Updated: Apr 18
By Farshid Rashidifar (MSW. RSW. Psychotherapist)
April 12, 2025
Some people describe their first meeting with a partner as electric. Magnetic. Instant.They call it love at first sight. But clinically, I’ve found that what we call "love" in those early moments is often something else entirely.
In therapy, when clients reflect on their earliest memories of romantic connection, the intensity is usually described as knowing, certainty, chemistry. But when we slow the conversation down, we often find that what they experienced was not love — it was perceived compatibility, strong attraction, or emotional projection.
That doesn’t make it inauthentic. It makes it incomplete.
Love is not just recognition. It’s regulation. It’s reality. It’s the capacity to stay connected after the intensity fades — when ambiguity and disappointment begin to surface.
In the early stages of attraction, we don’t yet know how this person navigates conflict, holds discomfort, or speaks in moments of vulnerability. What we feel is often potential, not presence. Fantasy, not foundation.
This isn’t to dismiss those initial feelings. It’s to understand them for what they are: a spark, not a structure.
In therapy, we often explore how early intensity — especially when accompanied by unresolved attachment wounds — can be mistaken for destiny. We fall for the way someone makes us feel about ourselves, not for who they are.
Sustainable love is rarely loud at the beginning. It’s what remains when the volume lowers.
Because real love is revealed over time — not in a glance, but in the space between rupture and repair.
If this reflection speaks to you and you’re considering a deeper exploration of your own relational patterns, you’re welcome to request a private consultation.
Farshid works with a small number of clients at a time. All inquiries are reviewed personally to ensure the focus and fit of the work are aligned.
Research Note:
This reflection is grounded in clinical practice and informed by psychological research. While specific studies, data, and models are not disclosed, the themes are drawn from contemporary academic literature and reinterpreted through a therapeutic lens.
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