Staying in Love Takes More Than Love
- Farshid Rashidifar
- Apr 13
- 2 min read
Updated: Apr 14
By Farshid Rashidifar (MSW. RSW. Psychotherapist)
April 14, 2025
The hardest part of relationships isn’t always starting them. It’s keeping them alive, safe, and meaningful over time.
In therapy, I’ve seen couples who love each other — deeply — still struggle to stay connected. The decline doesn’t always happen dramatically. Often, it’s a slow drift: less curiosity, more reactivity, fewer shared rituals, and more emotional assumptions.
At the core of many relationship struggles isn’t lack of love — it’s lack of maintenance. And maintaining intimacy requires far more than presence. It requires effort, clarity, and intentional vulnerability.
Emotionally connected relationships are often challenged by:
Habituation: Over time, what once felt special becomes expected. Couples begin to relate by routine, not reflection.
Emotional fatigue: Managing stress, parenting, careers, and family dynamics leaves little energy for relational attentiveness.
Avoidance of repair: Conflict happens. That’s not the issue. The issue is when couples stop revisiting conflict, believing time will heal what only honesty can.
Sustaining love requires psychological flexibility: the ability to shift, adapt, and return to your partner emotionally — even when it’s uncomfortable. It also requires mature dependency, where both partners can rely on each other without losing autonomy.
What I’ve observed is this: relationships last when both people are willing to examine their part — not just defend their pain. The challenge isn’t perfection. The challenge is participation.
Because relationships don’t end from lack of feeling. They end from lack of tending.
If this reflection speaks to you and you’re considering a deeper exploration of your own relational patterns, you’re welcome to request a private consultation.
Farshid works with a small number of clients at a time. All inquiries are reviewed personally to ensure the focus and fit of the work are aligned.
Research Note:
This reflection is grounded in clinical practice and informed by psychological research. While specific studies, data, and models are not disclosed, the themes are drawn from contemporary academic literature and reinterpreted through a therapeutic lens.
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